When is the last time you given yourself grace? Hell, do you even know what grace is; what it looks like? I can honestly say I’ve rarely given myself grace. I don’t know if it’s from self imposed pressure or the pressure society/ social media falsely applies. The world has a way of making us feel like nothing is enough and the feeling of content is a fairytale. So much so that I used to spend some days paralyzed by the notion of failing. Then I had to ask myself “To whose standard am I living by?” and it hit me. I was living by everyone’s standard because I never set one for myself.
I lost my mother when I was 21 and never heard of the words grief, therapy or grace but there I was trying to figure out how to move forward. I never gave myself the chance to feel my feelings. I felt like my mom would be disappointed if I stayed in the same spot too long but she raised me to be thoughtful in every action. During that time, If someone would have said “Keanan, give yourself some grace” I would have responded “I’m not eating right now”. It is crazy to think that I related acknowledging my feelings to failure but this is America and I am a black male. I was 25 years old when I gave myself grace for the first time, not only when it came to grieving my mom but ever.
Grace isn’t something that can be quantified or measured but it can damn sure be felt. Have you ever worked a 40 hour week and felt guilty for sleeping in on a Saturday or Sunday. I’ve been there too many times. Grace isn’t something that is needed all the time but it does need to be timely. Grace is when you haven’t met your goal but made progress. Instead of downing yourself, celebrate the steps you did take. Grace is when you are trying something new and make a mistake but you view it as a lesson, not a result. It took me so long to learn about this.
The point of this blog is to inform you that you deserve grace. The world doesn’t have enough to go around but you should. Give people, situations and most of all yourself a little bit of TLC with a major dose of grace. Stay winning.